Scientian Chuck Norris Facts

What if Chuck Norris is a scientian? To kill boredom before it kills me, I've made a little compilation of Chuck Facts if Chuck Norris decides to study in Quesci.

1. Chuck Norris never learns anything in school... because he already knows everything.

2. Teachers don't teach Chuck Norris. Chuck teaches them.

3. Chuck Norris makes scientific calculators malfunction in shame every math time.

4. In Chuck Norris' vocabulary, there is no such thing as teacher's pet. Only Teacher's Chuck and Chuck's pet teacher.

5. Chuck Norris' favorite food at the Coop ate Ate Duday, Kuya Gani, Ate Doris, and Kuya Winnie.

6. Chuck Norris never had mistakes in any quiz or exam. In fact, He never takes them and teachers simply put "excellent" and "100%" on his blank paper.

7. Chuck Norris has been banned from joining any competition after He won every inter-High School contest before finishing kindergarten.

8. Chuck Norris' teachers do assignments for Him. In addition, Chuck gives them a 200-page essay homework everyday.

9. Chuck Norris once had a wrong answer in a recitation in Botany class. Of course, I was just joking.

10. An analytic geometry teacher gave Chuck Norris a 98 in a periodic test. The said teacher was found dead three days later with his mouth full of chalkdust.

11. If you get a 97 in Physics and Chuck Norris also gets 97, He has a higher grade than you. But of course, Chuck will never have another grade lower than 100 again after another body was found hanging at the Grass Residences' crane... with his mouth full of chalkdust, too.

12. Chuck Norris eats Chemistry and Statistics books for breakfast.

13. Chuck Norris knows how to do fingermath in division of polynomials.

14. A teacher placed Chuck Norris in Avogadro. Chuck felt so insulted and another body was found bathing in his own blood with his mouth full of chalkdust. The senate immediately passes a resolution which establishes section Norris--a section that is higher than Avogadro.

15. Chuck Norris' section defeats Einstein-3 in the basketball intrams, 107-7. Chuck doesn't have teammates.

16. Chuck Norris doesn't run for an SSG position. Chuck Norris is the SSG.

17. Chuck Norris is allowed to enter and leave the school premises anytime after he has fired Kuya Ace... literally.

18. Scientians are required to sing the "Chuck's Hymn" and state the "Panatang Maka-Norris" every flag ceremony.

19. Chuck Norris is so smart that the president appointed him as the first student Dep-Ed secretary in mankind's history.

20. Enrollment in Quesci has skyrocketed by 4000 percent after news that Chuck Norris is studying here spread like a wildfire.

21. Chuck Norris maintains a blog in multiply. His username is mychaelmiravite.

22. The principal finds out the content of Chuck Norris' blog and gave him a 10-day suspension. The suspension was immediately deferred by the White House and the principal was sent to a sad, sad cell in Azkaban.

23. Chuck Norris also has twitter. He is suing Ashton Kutcher for claiming ownership over his twitter ID, aplusk, which beat CNN in most number of followers.

24. Chuck Norris is the reason why Bogart is missing.

25. Chuck Norris also plays Dota after classes (even during class hours). In fact, he owns a certain internet cafe bearing the name Itlogerz.

26. Chuck Norris can do a triple kill in an one-on-one game.

27. Chuck Norris normally reaches Chuck-like in one game, which is 1000 kills more than God-like.

28. You can never leave a Dota game unless you want Chuck Norris to kill you... literally.

29. Chuck Norris has made sex education a major subject, and to encourage students' listening skills, He hired the Viva Hotbabes as teachers.

30. The student handbook states that messing up with Chuck Norris is a Seriously Major Offense and is punishable by death by firing squad armed with ballistic missiles. It also states that this is not only applicable to the students, but to the teachers as well.

31. Chuck Norris counted to infinity--twice.

32. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

33. Chuck Norris' classroom has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

34. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

35. When Chuck Norris recites, everybody listens... and dies.

36. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky teacher to be thrown into the sun.

37. Chuck Norris ordered BigMac at the Coop, and got one.

38. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

39. Manny Pacquiao is Chuck Norris' pseudonym in his boxing matches.

40. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

...and lastly, Chuck Norris is wise enough not to study in a school like Quesci. Just kidding... well, this is how we kill boredom. COMMENTS!

Masbate now an independent nation

MASBATE CITY - Roughly 500,000 people gathered at the city's People's Park yesterday to witness Masbate's Independence Day rites despite the Philippine Government's plea to talk things over once more.

Provincial Governor Constantin Magallanes, now the nation's prime minister, declared Masbate independent from the Philippines in a celebration that was highlighted by Rodeo Festival's festivites, a parade of Masbate Armed Forces' arsenal, including an air show by the Air Force and a thirty-minute fireworks display.

Magallanes, a retired British Navy Brigadier General, said that Masbate's breaking up with the Philippines was backed up and recognized by international bodies like the United Nations. "The UN, APEC, Asean, and other international organizations have recognized our independence legitimate in accordance with the international law," noted Magallanes in front of local and international media in a press conference at The Capitol. "We also have the support from foreign countries and they even pledged to invest more in our newly-freed country."

Masbate's economy has skyrocketed in the past ten years that it even caught up with Asian giants Japan, Hongkong, Singapore, and South Korea. But the Malacanang clearly doesn't want to give up their former province of 10 million people, insisting that the Masbate Government was not able to comply with the International Court's requirements.

"It is clear that Masbate is still 'unripe' to become an independent country," said Philippine Presidential Spokesperson Ramon Gonzales in an emergency press conference at the Palace last night. "They are still incapable of running Masbate all by themselves. We offered them of running Masbate under the Philippines in a Special Administrative Region status but they just turned down the proposal."

The new Masbate International Affairs secretary Robert Castilla said that their government has done every necessary step that the international law requires for Masbate to break away from the Philippines. He also accounted the results of the plebescite last January in which votes for Masbate to become a nation won unanimously, garnering 89 percent of the 8.5 million votes.

Magallanes also stressed that a national elections will be held in Masbate sometime in August, which will seat their new republic's president, vide president, 21 senators, 45 congress representatives, governors, city and municipal mayors, vice mayors and district heads.

The Masbate Transition Government Board has also ratified its own constitution and appointed secretares to state departments and bureaus. The board has also passed the first resolution in its Transitional Congress which establishes Metropolitan Masbate, an urban conggregation of five highly urbanized cities with 6.5 million of the province's more than 10 million people.

A total news blackout about Masbate's independence is being implemented in the Philippines especially in the Greater Manila Area.

(More photos and blogposts @ http://mychaelmiravite.multiply.com/)