Magcollege na tayo?

University opens porn course

A university in Taiwan has opened a course to teach students how to appreciate and analyse porn movies.

The Mass Communication Department of Providence University opened the course this semester, reports United Daily News.

To pass the course, students must give a 15 minute presentation in which they analyse an audience's psychological reaction to a porn clip from an academic perspective.

One worried student, who did not wish to be named, commented: "If I get a very good score in this course, I don't know how I'll explain it to my parents."

When registering for the voluntary course, students signed a paper agreeing that if the scenes were too explicit, they could choose to leave the classroom

The teacher, assistant professor Miss Chen Mingmei, said no students had ever left her class but some would briefly cover their eyes during the stronger scenes.

More than 50 students registered for the course, and most of them confessed that they had watched porn videos before.

Curiosity was given as the main reason for taking the course and most admitted their parents did not know what they were studying.

Another student admitted: "I am really worried my parents will see the score report when it is mailed home. I won?t know what to say if I get a high score

"However if I fail the course, I can speak to my parents and suggest that maybe I should watch more porn."

*mula sa site ng mga tunay na lalakwe*

Usapang Sogo

Sino ba ang di nakakakilala sa logo na may babaeng nagtatakip ng pamaypay sa mukha? Sa totoo lang, Sogo na yata ang pinaka-discriminated at misinterpreted sa lahat ng hotels sa Pilipinas. Pag sinabi kasing Sogo...

Sogo=Sex

Pero astig talaga ang Sogo. Sana bayaran nila ako sa pag-aadvertise ko sa napaka-astig nilang hotel. Ilang hotel ba naman kasi ang may salamin sa ceiling? Pag gumawa kayo ng ano ng partner mo, para mong pinapanood ang sarili mong sex video. Tapos lahat ng TV nila, cable at may Porn channel pa. Astig.

Konti lang nakakaalam nito pero pampamilya din pala ang Sogo. May family rooms at sobrang astig ng service nila. Nung first time ko uminom at nalasing, Sogo ang kumupkop sa aming barkada. Lol. Nag-family room kami, pantanggal amats. Tapos alam na!

Walang nangyari... basta astig talaga ang Sogo.

May isa pa akong kwentong Sogo eh:

Nakasakay ako ng bus kasama yung ate ng kaklase ko dati. Papunta ata kami nun sa Pioneer para umattend sa art workshop ng mga uto-utong shits.

*Habang traffic pa at nakatitig ako sa tarp na nag-aadvertise sa Sogo*

Trina: Uy, tingnan mo, 350 na lang. Ilang oras kaya yun?

Ako: *na-shock*. Tae, hindi ganyan pagkakakilala ko sayo.

T: Ha? Ano kala mo sa akin, weak? Ano, tara... one on one? Baka di mo ako kaya?

A: Akala ko ba magpapakabait na tayo? Di na tayo iinom, magpopoker, maglalaro ng PS2 magdamag at...

T: Bakit anong masama sa pagbabadminton?

*Awkward silence. Mga five mintues. Di pa rin umaandar ang bus*

A: Bata pa tayo. Adik ka ba?

T: Mas adik ka, yung tarp na yellow kasi. Hindi yung tarp ng SOGO

A: Waaa. Akala ko... ano... uhm... uh...

*Yung tinuturo niya kasi yung tarp ng badminton court. Eh madalas kami dati magbadminton nung varsity pa kami ng dati namin school. So ayun, pahiya ako onti. Sorry-sorry na lang ako by Super Junior maghapon nung araw na yun*

-The End-

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Matagal na akong nababanas sa mga sasakyang may wangwang. Sabi nga sa Word of the Lourd, ang wangwang ang sumisimbulo ng hindi pagkakapantay-pantay ng tao sa lipunan. Oonga naman. Kung iisipin mo, bakit pa nila kelangan ng wangwang? Police ba sila? Ambulansiya ba sila na may hinahabol na buhay? Bumbero ba silang naghahanap ng sunog? Tapos akala mo kanila kalsada pag dumadaan sila. Required ang lahat na tumabi.

Kanina pinag-drive ako ng tatay ko ng Picanto. Mag-aral na daw ako kasi malapit na ako mag-college. \m/

May nakasabay kami sa Congressional na convoy ng politiko. Mahaba yung convoy. May Yukon, Expedition, Range Rover at pang-sekyu lang nila yung dalawang Everest. With matching dalawang Motorcycle escorts pa sila, lahat ng yun may wangwang. Dahil radical naman mag-isip kami ng tatay ko, sabi niya, igitna mo yung cute nating kotse sa convoy. Ginitna ko. Nasa pagitan kami ng Yukon na may plate number na 2 at Expedition na may wangwang. Tapos tinabihan kami nung dalawang motor, pinapaalis kami.

Biglang binuksan ng tatay ko yung bintana at nilabas ang kamay na tipong magpapakawala ng malutong na F*** YOU. Pero imbis na pakitaan niya yung mga mokong ng umaatikabong middle finger, ngumiti siya sabay kaway. "Preno mo bigla." Prineno ko bigla. Prumeno lahat ng nasa convoy sa likod ko. Malamang, kahit papaano, nagising na sila sa katotohanan. Nabilib ako bigla sa tatay ko.

Ako nga kahit nagjejeep lang, nakakarating sa paroroonan ko. Tapos sila, nakakotse na nga, nagdala pa ng buong barkada, lahat may wangwang. Daig pa nila si Lord.

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Yey. Sinong marunong magphotoshop diyan? Magkakaroon na ako ng pangalawa kong libro. Yun bang ipapaprint ko sa publisher, limang kopya lang tapos ipapadala lahat ng nanay ko sa mga kamag-anak namin. Wala na nga ako napala sa una kong libro. Pati manuscript ko, pinadala, di na tuloy ako nakapag-paprint pa.

Kelangan ko ng cover design! Medyo nakakapanibago yung bago kong gawa. Di tulad ng una ko, novel yung gawa ko ngayon. Konti lang patawa, masyado daw hardcore yung drama. Ingat na ingat ako ngayon sa manuscript ko, baka kasi mawala.

Pinabasa ko sa nanay ko, tita ko, dati kong girlfriend na nakakakilala sa characters ng libro, sa bestfriend ko, at sa isang random na tao. Eto comments nila. Eto na din yung ilalagay ko sa likod:

"Hardcore yung drama. Pinatawa ako sa simula tapos parang binubutas yung lalamunan ko nung mamamatay na si ******. Ipapublish mo, gayahin mo na rin yung cover ng Tuesdays with Morrie. Halatang ginaya mo eh."

--Tita ko

"Kilala ko yung mga characters mo ah. Fiction my ass. Eh tungkol yan sa buhay-buhay mo nung third year tayo eh."

--Ex

"Ang galing talaga ng anak ko. Astig. Manang-mana sa nanay. Rakenrol!"

--Nay

"Weyst op taym. Walang kwenta. Booooo! Magpatawa ka na lang!"

--bestfriend pa ba kita?

"Wow. Infairness, di ako nagbabasa ng mga ganitong libro, pero napaiyak mo ako. Inspired ka ba ngayon?

--Random na tao

So ayun. First time ko sumulat ng buong novel na english at medyo hardcore nga yung drama. Di ko muna ikkwento kung tungkol saan, basta tungkol siya sa isang tao na narrator, mamamatay na yung girlfriend niya dahil sa cancer, six months daw sabi ng doktor, tapos habang hinihintay nila yung time na magbababay earth na yung may cancer, di sinasadyang ma-inlove sa iba yung narrator at nagkagulo-gulo na ang mundo. Nakakatawa yung ending pero corny kasi last last week ko lang ginawa. Inspired ako pero distracted. Corny ako pag inlove. Basta, basta, may pagka-scientian din yung istorya.

Kelangan ko ng magaling magphotoshop. Magkakalibro tayo...

Scientian Chuck Norris Facts

What if Chuck Norris is a scientian? To kill boredom before it kills me, I've made a little compilation of Chuck Facts if Chuck Norris decides to study in Quesci.

1. Chuck Norris never learns anything in school... because he already knows everything.

2. Teachers don't teach Chuck Norris. Chuck teaches them.

3. Chuck Norris makes scientific calculators malfunction in shame every math time.

4. In Chuck Norris' vocabulary, there is no such thing as teacher's pet. Only Teacher's Chuck and Chuck's pet teacher.

5. Chuck Norris' favorite food at the Coop ate Ate Duday, Kuya Gani, Ate Doris, and Kuya Winnie.

6. Chuck Norris never had mistakes in any quiz or exam. In fact, He never takes them and teachers simply put "excellent" and "100%" on his blank paper.

7. Chuck Norris has been banned from joining any competition after He won every inter-High School contest before finishing kindergarten.

8. Chuck Norris' teachers do assignments for Him. In addition, Chuck gives them a 200-page essay homework everyday.

9. Chuck Norris once had a wrong answer in a recitation in Botany class. Of course, I was just joking.

10. An analytic geometry teacher gave Chuck Norris a 98 in a periodic test. The said teacher was found dead three days later with his mouth full of chalkdust.

11. If you get a 97 in Physics and Chuck Norris also gets 97, He has a higher grade than you. But of course, Chuck will never have another grade lower than 100 again after another body was found hanging at the Grass Residences' crane... with his mouth full of chalkdust, too.

12. Chuck Norris eats Chemistry and Statistics books for breakfast.

13. Chuck Norris knows how to do fingermath in division of polynomials.

14. A teacher placed Chuck Norris in Avogadro. Chuck felt so insulted and another body was found bathing in his own blood with his mouth full of chalkdust. The senate immediately passes a resolution which establishes section Norris--a section that is higher than Avogadro.

15. Chuck Norris' section defeats Einstein-3 in the basketball intrams, 107-7. Chuck doesn't have teammates.

16. Chuck Norris doesn't run for an SSG position. Chuck Norris is the SSG.

17. Chuck Norris is allowed to enter and leave the school premises anytime after he has fired Kuya Ace... literally.

18. Scientians are required to sing the "Chuck's Hymn" and state the "Panatang Maka-Norris" every flag ceremony.

19. Chuck Norris is so smart that the president appointed him as the first student Dep-Ed secretary in mankind's history.

20. Enrollment in Quesci has skyrocketed by 4000 percent after news that Chuck Norris is studying here spread like a wildfire.

21. Chuck Norris maintains a blog in multiply. His username is mychaelmiravite.

22. The principal finds out the content of Chuck Norris' blog and gave him a 10-day suspension. The suspension was immediately deferred by the White House and the principal was sent to a sad, sad cell in Azkaban.

23. Chuck Norris also has twitter. He is suing Ashton Kutcher for claiming ownership over his twitter ID, aplusk, which beat CNN in most number of followers.

24. Chuck Norris is the reason why Bogart is missing.

25. Chuck Norris also plays Dota after classes (even during class hours). In fact, he owns a certain internet cafe bearing the name Itlogerz.

26. Chuck Norris can do a triple kill in an one-on-one game.

27. Chuck Norris normally reaches Chuck-like in one game, which is 1000 kills more than God-like.

28. You can never leave a Dota game unless you want Chuck Norris to kill you... literally.

29. Chuck Norris has made sex education a major subject, and to encourage students' listening skills, He hired the Viva Hotbabes as teachers.

30. The student handbook states that messing up with Chuck Norris is a Seriously Major Offense and is punishable by death by firing squad armed with ballistic missiles. It also states that this is not only applicable to the students, but to the teachers as well.

31. Chuck Norris counted to infinity--twice.

32. Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

33. Chuck Norris' classroom has no doors, only walls that he walks through.

34. Chuck Norris can divide by zero.

35. When Chuck Norris recites, everybody listens... and dies.

36. On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky teacher to be thrown into the sun.

37. Chuck Norris ordered BigMac at the Coop, and got one.

38. Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.

39. Manny Pacquiao is Chuck Norris' pseudonym in his boxing matches.

40. If at first you don't succeed, you're not Chuck Norris.

...and lastly, Chuck Norris is wise enough not to study in a school like Quesci. Just kidding... well, this is how we kill boredom. COMMENTS!